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With spring and summer on the way, holiday parks are getting ready to open for another season. Show teams will now be working their butts off rehearsing those show routines, latest party dances and preparing to deal with all those demanding holiday makers and their kids once more. If you are working on a park this season, you will have given up your quiet life and will soon be acting as two people living that double life! This being normal every day you who lives with your parents..... "still" , and then becoming that happy smiley fun holiday park team member every day! Are you getting ready to put on that new uniform, maybe one of those coloured coats? If you have ever worked on a holiday park, work on one now or will be for the first time this season; please read this and see just what your life will be consisting of very soon. Some of you will be well aware of the truths below and know what comes with the territory. Especially you Entertainers that have been working the parks for years! If this is your first season, get ready for "Baby Shark on repeat!"
BUDGET ACCOMODATION BEHIND THE CLUB
So here you are you have made it on the holiday parks and your new season is due to begin. You may have lived away from home for ages or maybe this is your first time. Your own place, your home for the forth coming season and rent free! Just look at all those stunning new caravans up on the hill overlooking the sea, which one will be yours? Answer none of them, instead you are handed the key and shown by the Ents manager to your grotty caravan or chalet. One behind the maintenance shed or directly behind the club. No sunlight and no sleep on your night off either. Just the hum of the generator or the sounds of happy happy holiday makers!
WEEKS OF REHEARSING SHOWS AND THE LATEST PARTY DANCES
New season usually brings new shows and choreography. Yes its hard work preparing for the new season, but you knew it would be. After all this is why you are here, you were born to be on stage! Then the DVD is put in and you are shown the latest kids party dances, rolling out across the company this season. Not only are these completely stupid and yes they are part of the territory, but they are harder work to learn than the shows as you go over them again and again and again!
That age old game that will always be on holiday parks. They have been queing outside waiting for the doors to open for ages and like the social clubs, they all know what seats they want from 3:00pm onwards. So it's your turn to sell them tonight and you have announced on the microphone to the entire room enough times, that they are £1 per ticket. But you still get those holiday makers who will ask you ‚How much for three?‚ As for main flier, and getting the jackpot within so many numbers. You just know it will never happen!
YOUR NIGHT FOR KIDS CLUB
The night you dread most. Whilst bingo is on someone has to occupy all those little darlings in kids club don't they? You are stood behind the curtain just knowing they are all stood there‚waiting and screaming. So the compare says on the microphone ‚Who‚s behind the curtain tonight?‚Bloody you that's who! Curtains open and there they all are. But you are a pro and are well prepared. In kids club you have Lollies, A DVD, and Arts & Crafts pencils and paper ready to go !
REGULARS WHO THINK THEY ARE YOUR FAMILY
This is a good and a bad thing. You will get those families who come to your park again and again, season after season. Sometimes you don't like them and their kids annoy you, maybe the husband a bit letchy too, but they are a great source for a free drink. Then there are the ones who you love seeing and look forward to it when they tell you they are coming down. You even make friends with them and talk online, maybe go and visit them out of season too, After all you are away from your friends and family, and it's just nice to see different familiar faces cheering you on each week.
THE HOT SWEATY MASCOT
It doesn't matter if it is a giant bear, a big rabbit, bright pink elephant, a yellow squirrel or a tiger, he hasn't been washed for weeks and he stinks to be in. You aren't able to be a different character due to your height regulation and you just got to get on with it and dance in him. Your team mate holds your hand, guiding you onto the stage and you haven't got a clue where you are going. Just do the two dances in him you have to, and don't walk too far forwards or you will be off the stage! Just Bear with it as you wave your arms around as if you are actually talking to the voice recording that is playing. Mascots never used to have voices did they?
YOU SMILE EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE IN THE MASCOT
You know you have done this and if you think about it why do you do it? So all the kids will be having their photo taken with the mascot after wont they. You stand or sit with the kids as the photographer or parents take the photo. Someone will shout Smile‚ and what do you do? Smile too. Why you are inside a mascot and no one can see your face anyway!
ON STAGE ANTICS
You have all done it, either forgot your words, dance steps or maybe just laughed at your team mates live. However none of the crowd mind as they are on holiday and come to have a good time. This show that you have had so polished, usually changes as the season goes on. Things such as daring each other to do something or throw random words in songs. What with all the practical jokes such as back combing someone's wig they are meant to be singing in or hiding costumes so they have to find a quick alternative!
BACK STAGE NUDITY.
Yes it happens! I'm sure some of you won't admit it to your family or partners now, but everyone you work or worked with has seen you in just your underwear or more at some point or another. There is no time for modesty when you have a 30 second costume change and you are relying on the nearest person to you, to help do it up. Shoes, trousers, dresses, bras or more. They have all been off in front of each other haven't they? I mean why not, you are a show team after all!
FAG OR VAPE BREAKS
So when on earth will you get a chance to do this? You can't smoke in front of anyone at any point and entertaining holiday makers for an evening is non stop. You can't go back to your caravan or stand outside the front door so what are you going to do? Well just after kids party dances you bang on that extra long remix version of Cha Cha slide and stand outside the fire exit door back stage. The door that backs on to where your caravan is!
MIDNIGHT SHOPPING TRIPS
There is literally no time for you to get any form of food shopping in what so ever, not by the time youve got out of bed. Nothing healthy anyway, what with the fact you have that stupid flat drawer size freezer in your caravan that you can fit one pizza in. You don't really want to you use your day off for food shopping and you have the munchies now, even though it's 1:00am and you just got in from another show. So you and your team mate that you share with, hop in your car and go down the local super market. Doesn't matter that you both have onesies on, you are regulars in there anyway. The look on the checkout assistant is priceless!
CLUBBING IN TOWN STARTS AT 12:30AM
Show over, get rid of them final drunk holiday makers that want to chat to you for tonight is the town night, you and the team do every week. You all have different nights off so when else can you all go down to the local town clubbing together? On a Saturday like everyone else that's when. Your town clothes and make up are back stage anyway, you have all planned that one. In the quickest time you get ready and go into town together in the early hours. After all you have until 4:30am or so and it's just getting good now!
FIRST DAY DUTY HUNG OVER FROM THE NIGHT BEFORE
Not good, especially if you are on the first program duty at 10:30am. Considering you got in from town about five hours ago, it's even worse. Adult darts, Killer pool or worse kids club. Who's idea was that? Just look at all those kids sat there raring to go, as you plod in with your hair scraped back and make up on from the night before, bottle of water in hand.
KIDS or ADULTS WAVING AND SHOUTING YOUR NAME
You can't even go to the onsite launderette or shop without the kids shouting your name as they see you go by. You are their hero for the week and they want their hero to smile and wave at them. Even some of the adults are at it. As the season goes on, these holiday parks you wanted to work on so bad, become a sea of people that you just want to leave you alone! But you are a true pro and wearing that bright coloured day time tracksuit that makes you stand out so well, you put on the falsest smile and wave to every single person!
PEOPLE WONT LEAVE YOU ALONE ON YOUR DAY OFF.
The one day of the week that you can be you and wear your normal clothes. Today you have decided to get away from the holiday park and go for a shopping trip in town or walk along the nearest sea front. But who is this you see walking towards you, that regular family who's kids you can't stand that are staying on your park this week! You try to avoid them but too late, they call your name and insist on having a chat and even a photo! You can't ignore them as they tell you about their holiday and what they are doing today. As they ask you what show it is tonight you just want to say ‚Leave me alone and check your program when you get back!‚ Let me enjoy my day off!!
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